The Unbearable Blizzard of '08

Hoo-whee! I do declare, Mother Nature is one ruthless lady. We're purt-near buried under snow, and it's colder'n eighteen witches' teats.
It's cold enough to freeze water solid!
Yep, this here storm's a real sonofabitch. Came up on us like celery stalks at midnight. Fortunately, I had time to go to Caspian Interational Food Mart on Brentwood Road, and I got some good, God-fearin' processed meats to see us through this ordeal.
They had plenty of news people standing out in the rain and snow on television, 'cause that makes it more serious-like. As you can see from the pictures above and below, there's enough snow to justify the 383 closings and delays reported on WRAL.com.

They're worried about black ice. Black ice?! Who ever hearda such poppycock. Nice, shiny, regular ice is the ice for me. If I'm gonna go tumblin' into the ditch, ain't no make-believe black ice gonna do it, it's good old regular ice.